The WTG Catch Up

So I was a little behind earlier when I went to meet Weird Train Guy and get on “our” train. I arrived as the doors were closing and had to stand outside while the platform guys did their train connecting thing. You know how much I hate that.

Weird Train Guy was on the train making stupid faces at me, pretending to be asleep and waving me away as if I am some sort of street kid in Yemen or something. Weirdo.

So I finally got on the train and do you know what, I was actually quite pleased to see the silly old sod as it’s been a while what with all the snow issues and the Young Lady distractions and whatnot, there we were alone just me and my Weird Train Guy.

Weird Train Guy traverses the hills and valleys of Pluckley...

The Update:

Last week Weird Train Guy only took the train on Monday, Tuesday and Friday which explains why I didn’t see him. I did remind him that he violated the terms of our agreement by driving in to work in the snow, what with “all those pratts on the road without four-by-fours” and I asked him if he drove to work. He said he was off on Wednesday to take part in the shoot with all those other pie-munching gun-jockeys (more on this in a sec) but on Thursday he arrived at the station in the morning to find it buried under a tonne of snow, much like I did, but I didn’t bother getting there at ridiculous O’clock to find out like he probably dud.

He said that he started driving to work in his very expensive, flash and impeccably clean Landrover (apart from presumably the stinky dog smells) and the roads were terrible, so before he even made it as far as Ashford he called in to work (WTG actually used his mobile phone SHOCKER!) to tell them that the roads were bad and he’s not coming, only to be told by his boss that they were about to ring him to say not to bother anyway.

The Car Showroom that Weird Train Guy works at was closed for the day so he got a day off.

Lucky fuck, but then saying that I did get to go snowboarding as well that day.

There was some bad news too, not that I am overly emotional about it but his younger dog injured his “undercarriage” as WTG called it and cut himself, so is out of the hunting shooting thing next week. He said he will be ok though and proceeded to tell me the minutae of his efforts to clean the injured soldier and make him alright again. Also the older dog has a bad paw so his whole set of dogs that he uses to make money on the shoots are out of action for the next week or so.

What the hell will he do without his FREE pies, coffee, tea, soup and the lashings of money for playing silly buggers in the woods?

For once I asked him what the dogs were called and I thought it would be really funny names like fluffykins or Wuffle but in fact they are named:

Monty (as in Full Monty, so he says) and

Merlin.

Not funny or interesting or anything to take the piss out of disappointingly.

So that’s what WTG has been up to and I think this is the least funny post so far.

At least he is alive… which means this blog still has the right to exist.

 

For now.

 

My next post will be my 30TH post, so expect something truly awesome!

 

WTG Cancelled due to snow

I think we can all agree that it has been an insane week, with the brain-masters at BBC News telling us that the roads are TREACHEROUS and ALL TRAINS are cancelled – CANCELLED!!

For a while you feel like you’re going to be trapped in some icy  hell-hole forever, a mini ice age akin to what we all saw in the Day After Tomorrow.

The Day After Tomorrow. Yesterday.

 

 

Then the sun comes out.

But seriously, the train service has been shockingly shit this week and whilst I have been here, there and everywhere I have not seen Weird Train Guy once. Although I don’t take the train timetables too seriously when I travel in snow, just rocking up when I feel like it, my timings have been similar to usual but instead of meeting Weird Train Guy it’s been a more interesting riot of people freaking out about how the trains are late and OH MY GOD WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!!?!

Pussies.

So I do wonder if WTG is OK, maybe he took his landrover to work? (surely some kind of mistake?)

I expect as we agreed a while back that if it snows then we just stay at home and he has possibly kept up his end of the bargain while I have carried on, nay soldiered on and gone to work with a stiff upper lip and the manner of the Englishman. Apart from Thursday of course, that was just crying out to be a work-at-home day.

I recommend snowboarding at lunchtime, it really blows the cobwebs off and the colleagues I spoke to on the conference call afterwards probably didn’t know what the hell to make of some adrenalised nutter yelling down the phone to them all as he had just literally come off the Pluckley piste just moments ago. Probably shouldn’t mention that…?

So here are some photos of Pluckley Station in the snow… This was Tuesday before we got hammered by the white stuff.

Looking uphill to London

Note, no trains to speak of. and…

Looking downhill to Ashford, Dover, these kinds of places

Which reminds me, I really need to have a word with this young chap I met on the platform, so why not do it now.

Number 1 – Dude! you’ve gatecrashed my documentary photography for my WTG blog by just blundering in here, get the hell out of the way – You are RUINING IT!

Number 2 – Where the FUCK is your hat?

Number 3 – What part of your brain selected those shoes on a day like today?

In fact, don’t answer that, lets have a closer look…

You have got to be shitting me.

What are these? some kind of boating shoe? These do not seem to me to be appropriate footwear for such a snowy inclement day with several inches of snow on the ground. What is wrong with the youth of today that makes them make such ridiculous clothing choices on days like this?

Don’t tell me it’s a fashion statement either as those things are not cool even on a hot summers day.

On a boat.

In Cambridge.

I expect his feet were REALLY cool all day long. Brrrrr!

Anyway, young man, if you are reading this then please don’t ‘shank me up blood’ (or something) if you see me at Pluckley station and take these words of advice from me to you for free and with love from my heart. Get a hat. Wear it when it snows and get some proper footwear too. And wear them when it snows.

Thanks for your time.

 

So hopefully now that the sun has come up:

The Sun. Rare.

 

 

I can reconvene with Weird Train Guy next week and we can swap war stories about epic 28 minute long journeys from Pluckley to Ashford and the like. That my friends, is 21 minutes longer than it should be!

Until next time, wear sensible shoes.

 

Alternative Weird Train Guy

Some interesting things have transpired. TWO interesting things actually, no I mean THREE, three interesting things have transpired.

Interesting thing One

The Author seems to be really into his double WTG posts at the moment, I mean, two posts in one day twice in a row? – It’s outrageous!

Click here for today’s other post! :o)

 

 

Interesting thing Two

As previously reported, the MyLittleStation Blog has started and while I am not one to do myself out of a job it has been noted that there have been other Weird Train Guy updates springing up from there, giving an altogether different perspective altogether. (yes I used altogether twice, it was supposed to be funny, I don’t think it actually was, but my delete key is broken)

So while I am off partying like a Rockstar, driving my Porsche really fucking fast around Pluckley, whoring, drinking and doing loads of weirdly named drugs like demoxyauracycline or Phencyclidine with maybe a vicodin chaser, the lovely author of my little station can keep you updated on WTG from the other perspective.

Which is interesting and please note I don’t do drugs of any kind, except chocolate, alcohol and nicotine, you know, the WORST of the WORST drugs out there, but that’s OK isn’t it. I think I’m trying to make a point here.. its not working. And I don’t have a Porsche.

So this is like an alternative update for Weird Train Guy.

So before I give my final summation…

Interesting thing Three

The character from my Blog known affectionately as “Young Lady” has also turned her hand to Blog writing as well, this I can say with my reviewer hat on is an altogether different blog altogether. (I did it again) Seems like it’s time to kill off one of my characters as she is about to depart these shores to go and ponce around the Alps for 6 months pretending to work when in fact she is partying like a Rockstar, drinking and doing loads of weirdly named drugs like demoxyauracycline or Phencyclidine with maybe a vicodin chaser and riding snowboards from time to time.

BUT!

We can keep an eye on her at The Life Of Georgie blog.

So now it’s time for a…

Final Summation

Writing a blog is a good thing, as it inspires others to try something new or to think about their own lives and the beauty and love that is inherent throughout all of this incredible world.

However I think it’s now time to trademark Weird Train Guy™ and protect my assets goddammit!

It’s a dog eat dog world motherfucker! and I’m the original and best blogger here, lets get that straight before it all gets mired in lawsuits and personal insults across the interconnecting web or a full on missile assault at Pluckley Station.

^ Actually that last bit sounds kinda cool!

 

I jest of course, but you know this. It’s because I love you and if you believe me… it MUST be true!