Three days in a row?

I just realised, I have posted about our delightful friend Weird Train Guy for THREE days in a row!

What is this insanity?

 

This evening I feel like deliberately NOT posting anything just so that I can break the chain!

Who knows, I may not even see him on the train home so that should stop this posting marathon dead in it’s tracks. Heres hoping.

By the way, who the hell keeps searching Google for:-

• Pies on snow
• bread trays needed
• dog throat
• quips credit cards
• tea trolleys on trains + health and safety

There’s only ONE answer to all of those search queries – Weird Train Guy!

The WTG Catch Up

So I was a little behind earlier when I went to meet Weird Train Guy and get on “our” train. I arrived as the doors were closing and had to stand outside while the platform guys did their train connecting thing. You know how much I hate that.

Weird Train Guy was on the train making stupid faces at me, pretending to be asleep and waving me away as if I am some sort of street kid in Yemen or something. Weirdo.

So I finally got on the train and do you know what, I was actually quite pleased to see the silly old sod as it’s been a while what with all the snow issues and the Young Lady distractions and whatnot, there we were alone just me and my Weird Train Guy.

Weird Train Guy traverses the hills and valleys of Pluckley...

The Update:

Last week Weird Train Guy only took the train on Monday, Tuesday and Friday which explains why I didn’t see him. I did remind him that he violated the terms of our agreement by driving in to work in the snow, what with “all those pratts on the road without four-by-fours” and I asked him if he drove to work. He said he was off on Wednesday to take part in the shoot with all those other pie-munching gun-jockeys (more on this in a sec) but on Thursday he arrived at the station in the morning to find it buried under a tonne of snow, much like I did, but I didn’t bother getting there at ridiculous O’clock to find out like he probably dud.

He said that he started driving to work in his very expensive, flash and impeccably clean Landrover (apart from presumably the stinky dog smells) and the roads were terrible, so before he even made it as far as Ashford he called in to work (WTG actually used his mobile phone SHOCKER!) to tell them that the roads were bad and he’s not coming, only to be told by his boss that they were about to ring him to say not to bother anyway.

The Car Showroom that Weird Train Guy works at was closed for the day so he got a day off.

Lucky fuck, but then saying that I did get to go snowboarding as well that day.

There was some bad news too, not that I am overly emotional about it but his younger dog injured his “undercarriage” as WTG called it and cut himself, so is out of the hunting shooting thing next week. He said he will be ok though and proceeded to tell me the minutae of his efforts to clean the injured soldier and make him alright again. Also the older dog has a bad paw so his whole set of dogs that he uses to make money on the shoots are out of action for the next week or so.

What the hell will he do without his FREE pies, coffee, tea, soup and the lashings of money for playing silly buggers in the woods?

For once I asked him what the dogs were called and I thought it would be really funny names like fluffykins or Wuffle but in fact they are named:

Monty (as in Full Monty, so he says) and

Merlin.

Not funny or interesting or anything to take the piss out of disappointingly.

So that’s what WTG has been up to and I think this is the least funny post so far.

At least he is alive… which means this blog still has the right to exist.

 

For now.

 

My next post will be my 30TH post, so expect something truly awesome!

 

Weird Nerd Guy and Google

I have been looking at the inner workings of this interblog and I have found out some interesting things going on in the bowels of cyberspace and one corner in particular. I guess being somewhat of a nerd I find these sorts of things to be fascinating…

It all started when I was looking at the Weird Train Guy stats for this site, the general picture here is that not enough people are looking at this hugely interesting blog, but anyway, with that aside I noted something else. Within all those amazing graphs and wizardry-pokery theres something called “search engine terms” and in there is a list of all the interesting search terms that people have used to find the Weird Train Blog.

There is a great deal of importance to this because for any search that’s done on the net, if your site is not on the first or second page of the almighty Google themselves then no-ones going to EVER look at your site EVER.

So with this in mind, over to Google:

Need to find out something? Ask the so-called experts at Google!

The search term that piqued my interest first and gave me inspiration to probe further was this one:

how to avoid weird guys

Someone, somewhere has typed that into google and found the WTG Blog at the number one position and got a crash course from me on how to avoid WTG! – Just how perfect is that!

Try it out for yourself, I have made it easy for you, just click the keywords I have linked to put that search in Google for you. Try it. Go on you know you want to.

Then I found this one:

what happens if your train is cancelled due to snow

According to the so-called experts at Google, the answer is on the Weird Train Guy Blog!

NOT National Rail enquiries, NOT the BBC, NOT Sky News, but WTG!!

Insane isn’t it. We’re number one in the world for train/snow/cancellation enquiries.

Also:

should i risk getting a train today in snow

Once again the WTG Blog saves the day.

Check this out though, the WTG Blog is the all-time number-one Expert on:

PIES ON SNOW!

The next time you need pies on snow - come to the WTG BLOG!

I love that we’re number one on “Pies on Snow” don’t you?

A pie. NOT on snow.

Even our friends from Russia are getting in on the Pies on Snow WTG vibe:

лозунг кока-колы

Yeah I haven’t a clue either, but it’s on the list.

This one troubles me greatly…

Wordpress Stats Nerds: Perverts.

So much so that I wont even risk linking to a search of this nature!

Heres some more though:

naughty lady on train WTG is number 1!

what do call guy who takes tickets on train Erm, yes, er.. what? #1 on google!

do i have to go to work if my trains are cancelled WTG will answer this as we’re #1! (the answer is “no” in case you were wondering…)

So according to Google, ladies and gentlemen, if you want perversions of a weird train variety, or maybe some more practical information like weirdo avoidance tactics or information about train travel in the snow then you are in for a treat with the Weird Train Guy Blog.

We have ALL the answers here and more and it comes highly recommended by Google(tm) and if it’s good enough for them, then it’s good enough for you.

If you find any more unusual keywords or web surfings that bring you to the Weird Train Guy Blog then let me know what they were in the comments department.

I wish you all googlenight.*

*Yes, that was deliberate. Sort of…