02. According to WTG, it's the best deal.
I saw weird train guy at the station this evening, strangely he was not at his usual spot where he can be precisely where the train doors stop. He must be feeling unwell or something. He said hello and so did I and then I sat down. We sat in glorious silence for a moment, but it was soon short lived.
“O2” he says.
“Yes?” says me, struggling to cope with the dramatic pause…
Aaaannnd….?
“They seem to have the best deals for an iPhone” says weird train guy.
Wow so now we know then, O2 have the best deals and have cornered the market then I think, knowing how anal WTG can be about such matters, that must be the final answer and I started imagining the board members at O2 high fiving each other at this massive revelation and whooping with joy at having sold 50 bagillion of their best deals…
Weird train guy has been jealous of my iPhone for a while now, and not that I’m a total apple faddist or anything it’s just that the company I work for gave me one and it is probably the best phone I have ever used. What excites WTG is that it has email capability you see and he seems rather obsessed about email although he won’t put his hand in his pocket and just go and buy a PC or something; oh no, WTG has to mull it all over for a couple of decades before actually doing something. Fuck knows who he is going to email mind you, some poor fucker and I assure you that I wont be giving him my email address any time soon!
I have also heard from him all about the relentless fascism that presumably goes on in his office about using email for personal use and he has bored me on the subject in the past and about how he daren’t use it for anything other than work things. The pussy.
Just buy a fucking pc then and get broadband will you!?!?
So he tells me all about this O2 deal and that it costs £10 extra per month for Internet access on top of a £120 per year contract and can he justify the extra £10 to be able to send email and is it worth it or should he go for the Orange deal that gives him this or that, or maybe the Tesco deal or.. – Jesus fucking Christ just go and buy the fucking thing will you, thinks me.
So just as the train pulls into Pluckley station and after a full seven minutes of explaining to me the explicit intricacies of all the major phone providers, which frankly was extraordinarily interesting as you can imagine.
I looked weird train guy in the eye and said, “so what deal are you going to go for then?” expecting a final, decisive and definitive answer…
“well I don’t know, I’m going to have to think about it”
For fucks sake….
Weird Train Guy 